Me (to the hubby while driving): “My driver’s license expires soon, and they won’t let me renew it by mail.”
Mike: “I know. It’s a new security procedure. You need to go in and take a written test.”
Me (rolling my eyes): “What?! But, I know how to drive.”
Mike: “I understand. You still need to take the test. By the way, you just sped up to beat that light, and it was already turning red. I suggest you study.”
Me: “Why do I need to study? How hard can a stupid driver’s license test be? Everybody speeds up to beat the red light.”
Mike: “Okay smarty, what did that solid, white line mean that you just crossed in the intersection?”
Me: “I don’t know. It’s like a recommendation not to cross.”
Mike: “You just crossed it while speeding.”
Me: “I don’t like boundaries. I’m more of a color-outside-of-the-lines type of driver.”
Mike: “You’re going to fail.”
Me: “You can cross it with caution. I do it all the time.”
Mike: “Explain that to the police when they pull you over for reckless driving.”
Me: “They won’t even care about my reckless driving when they see that I have an expired license. I’ll just throw a donut out the car window as a distraction. When they go running after it, I’ll make a quick getaway.”
Mike (shaking his head): “I’ll start getting some cash together for your bail money.”
Law, shmaw. I don’t need no stinkin’ driver’s test.
What I do need is an appropriate response to a 7×7 blogger award that I just got from Addie over at Betwixt and Between.
Here goes: thank you, Addie, you kick ass. I want you to know that it took me all night to come up with that. You also don’t need to take any driver’s tests if you don’t want to. You’re welcome.
The things I have been asked to do as a recipient of this award are:
1. Share something about myself that no one (in the blogging community) knows. I asked the hubby to help me with this one, and he said, “Nobody knows you’re nice. Tell them that. Ha ha.” Punk.
2. Link up to 7 posts of mine that I feel worthy of the pre-determined 7×7 blogger award categories. Fortunately, “Most Gag-Reflex Inducing Piece” wasn’t one of the categories (phew), so things can only go up from here.
- Most Beautiful Piece – I take it back. Things might be headed downhill. I don’t really do “beautiful.” The closest thing of beauty would be my post about growing a baby lime: In the Great Words of Dr. Frankenstein: It’s Alime!
- Most Helpful Piece – I suppose if you consider “helpful” as advocating gluttony and telling people where they can gorge themselves with the best pancakes in the world, then this post is it: It’s a Fine Line: Maui Breakfast Worth the Wait
- Most Popular Piece – Based on my WordPress statistics, it would be this post: 14 Valentine’s Day Doozies
- Most Controversial Piece – Nothing controversial here, unless you would consider my arguments with my husband about botulism at the dinner table controversial: A Little Touché Can Go a Long Way
- Most Surprisingly Successful Piece – That would definitely be my post about cat crap. Literally, cat crap. Kitty Litter-ature
- Most Underrated Piece – My post about the vomit I once named a pukeasso: It’s the Thought that Counts
- Most Pride-worthy Piece – My cartoon about my cat Samuel and an unexpected houseguest: Along Came a Spider (a Really Short Story)
3. Pay it forward. The 7×7 blogger award is a hot potato, so I need to pass it on to 7 other wonderful bloggers (my pleasure!):