For those of you who read my last post about conversational challenges during get-togethers, I suppose you can consider this a Part Deux.
As you know, since my husband and I only have cats and dogs, we give partygoers more of a challenge when it comes to conversations. We have started seeing similarities and patterns in what people will talk to us about when they find out we don’t have “real” kids (you know, like the homo sapien kind). Most times, discussions end up revolving around our careers, our pets, or the weather.
Over the years, we’ve gotten some truly
disturbing interesting comments and questions about pets.
Here are some of the most memorable:
Peanuts would have been a very different comic strip if Snoopy had been a cat.
For starters, Snoopy’s pal Woodstock would not have been a friend—he would have been lunch. That poor bird would have been nothing but a feather sticking out of a feline’s tooth (please refer to exhibit A, because that’s what happens when you put a cat and a bird together). No cat could have resisted the urge to hunt and swallow a tempting little yellow canary.
As for Snoopy’s infamous dog house: if he had been a cat, it would have been more of a scratching post than a residence.
Snoopy would use a typewriter to type out notes on top of his dog house, and he would pretend to fly his dog house like a plane as the Red Baron.
If Snoopy had been a cat, he would have been beside himself. Most cats hate flying and costumes. A cat would not be caught dead wearing aviator goggles and a scarf, playing the role of a World War I flying ace.
The typewriter and carefully composed notes never would have worked out either. They would have been mere tools with which to sharpen claws. Typewriter ribbon = toy. Paper = toy. You get the point. Besides, Snoopy loved to start his writing with “It was a dark and stormy night…” and no cat would ever write a story about a dark and stormy night. Cats despise thunderstorms and lightning.
I suppose not all things would have been different if Snoopy had been a cat. There are a couple similarities between them.
For instance, Snoopy had conflicting loyalties to his owner, Charlie Brown, and he occasionally showed a contemptuous attitude toward him. Poor Charlie Brown dedicated much of his life to pleasing Snoopy (to no avail), and if his dog had been a cat, there would have been no difference.
Snoopy also liked to sleep on top of his house and not inside it. Cat owners know that cats never sleep in a place that is conventional or expected as well. Buy a cat a nice house, and they sleep on top of it. Or, they completely ignore it, and you find them napping in an underwear drawer. Buy a cat a comfortable condo, and you find them curled up in your decorative fruit bowl in the kitchen (remind us never to offer you any fresh fruit when you come over).