5 Signs You’re a Crazy Cat Person

1- You have a ton of cats and cat toys. Unfortunately, your cats choose to ignore all those wonderful toys, and they play with empty toilet paper rolls and your shoelaces instead.

2- Your best friend gives you a bag of treats as a gift for your cats, and after letting them eat most of the bag, you realize that they’re from Walmart (and made in China) which fuels a sort of Kim-Kardashian-Kanye-West combination meltdown (which means that you attempt to maintain your composure, but in the end, you can’t control yourself from freaking out like a Drama King/Queen and voicing your concerns inappropriately). You grab your cell phone, call your best friend, and exclaim “Oh. My. God. I can’t believe you gave me Chinese cat treats from Walmart! If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were trying to kill my babies!”

3- You get excited… no, more like ecstatic and hysterical… over pet care items such as a special miniature hand brush and dust pan to sweep up fine granules of kitty litter. When you find items like this in the store, you actually jump for joy, raising them in the air victoriously as Rafiki did with Simba in the first Lion King movie.

Image courtesy of arthursclipart.org

4- You talk to your cats. And, I don’t mean the occasional “Here kitty, kitty!” kind of talk. I mean the kind of talking that ends up being a dialogue of sorts between you and your cat.

Crazy Cat Person: How’s my sweet girl? How was your day?

Cat: Meow.

Crazy Cat Person: Oh, I know you missed me, sweet pea! Are you hungry?

Cat: Meow.

Crazy Cat Person: Let’s see what we can do about that. Do you want your favorite catnip treats?

Cat: Meow.

5- Your cats have a first and last name… sometimes even a middle name. And, you’ve been known to use their full names when you’re angry at them, to which they consistently respond with verbal opposition.

Crazy Cat Person: Punky Mewster Miller, get down from that shelf right now!

Cat: Mrrrreeeeoooooow! Mrrrreeeeoooooow!

Crazy Cat Person: I don’t want to hear it! Get down here right now! I mean it!

Cat: Mrrrreeeeoooooow! Mrrrreeeeoooooow!

After this goes on for a while, the crazy cat person ultimately gives up and retrieves the cat from the shelf on his/her own, since the cat simply refuses to cooperate (and there’s no winning an argument with an angry cat).

Image by designer-brain courtesy of deviantart.com

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15 Comments

Filed under Furry Tales

15 responses to “5 Signs You’re a Crazy Cat Person

  1. Mum

    Guilty of number 4! Must admit that I have spoken to a cat named Hocus on the phone! His reply was always the same… meow…. LOL..

  2. cassiebehle

    I’ll have you know that holding conversations with your cat is totes magotes normal! It’s normal!

    • Mmmm hmmm. This coming from my fellow crazy cat blogger BFF! Has Chloe shared any interesting tidbits lately? Samuel mostly complains. It’s always “meow” this and “meow” that with him! 😉

      • cassiebehle

        Sometimes, when I get her really aggitated by asking too many questions, she says “MEeeerrrooooowwww!” Apparently she needs some downtime after (I) work to relax without being bombarded with “What should we do tonight?” and “Do you still love me?”

  3. This is brilliant and YOU ARE CRAZY!
    The conversation is dope.

  4. Whew, what a relief. My cats only have first names. They were too snobby to take my last name. Fortunately, dressing your cats didn’t show up on your list either. I consider that humiliating for a cat. A dog…well they’ll wear anything but a cat…their designer fur is enough.

    • I swear to you, Barb, if there was a #6 in my list of signs, it would have been those who dress their cats in costumes. Sadly, I’m guilty of that one too. My cat has been known to wear the occasional bow tie and Superman cape. 😉

  5. I’m so giving my cat a middle and last name when I get home. I’ll have to talk it over with her first.

  6. stillstrange

    I am definitely a crazy cat person. You left out wearing cat clothes all the time yourself. I alway’s have conversations with my cat. My husband and I have to stop talking and talk to her when she interrupts.

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