As I remember my dad on father’s day, I thought I would honor his memory by sharing some of the classic things he used to say to me when I was growing up.
- There’s nothing that an aloe vera plant can’t heal. I know what you’re thinking, and no it can’t heal your report card. Get to work.
Evidently aloe vera sucked. And so did Calculus.
- Never let a plane pass you directly overhead, because you never know if a screw will fall off a wing and hit you. It could kill you falling from that height.
Apparently when I was a kid, aeronautical engineers put planes together with Elmer’s glue and screws from Home Depot.
- Quit complaining and eat your peas and lima beans. They’re healthy for you. Besides, there are starving kids in Cambodia who would love to have those.
I regularly tried to make haste to mail those poor kids my legumes, but dad always refused to let me seal my dinner in an envelope and give it to the post office for delivery to Cambodia.
- If your nose itches, that means you’re going to get in a fight. If your palms itch, that means you’re going to get money. If your ears itch, that means someone is talking about you. If anything else itches, you have to see a doctor.
I think that was pretty sound advice, actually.