Your Cheese Is Sweating

My town has one of the most interesting sandwich shops in existence. If there were logical rules by which sandwich shops should abide, it would defy most of them.

The first time I went there, the owners were advertising a special sandwich on a huge poster on the front door. When I asked for the special sandwich, they said that it wasn’t available. I asked them why they were advertising a sandwich that they didn’t have, and they stared at me blankly.

I figured I would just order something else. I saw a hot breakfast sandwich on the menu that looked good, so I ordered that instead. They told me it was no longer offered, and they had inadvertently left it on the menu.

The second time I went to the sandwich shop, I was really craving a toasted panini. They explained to me that they had no working toaster oven, and they were out of ciabatta bread.

The third time I went in there (I can’t believe I’m actually admitting that I went back a third time), I immediately got blasted by hot air, after pushing open the front door. Apparently they fixed the toaster oven. What they didn’t fix was the thermostat and the central air. On a warm day, the temperature inside the sandwich shop was significantly higher than the temperature outside.

I went up to the counter and saw what appeared to be a bunch of ailing condiments, waiting for death. I couldn’t help myself from making a comment to the owner standing there. I said “I’m sorry, but it’s like a thousand degrees in here, and your mayo looks sick.” He responded “It’s fine. We keep it cooler behind the counter.” I leaned over the counter, pointed at the slices of cheddar, and replied “Really? Then why is your cheese sweating?”

Another patron in line behind me broke out in laughter. The owner seemed uneasy. I cheerfully remarked “Thanks, but I don’t want any sweaty cheese.”

I haven’t gone back since. I swear.


Have you had any interesting food experiences?



Filed under Stories from the Stomach

9 responses to “Your Cheese Is Sweating

  1. This reminds me of the time we went to Subway and they were out of everything. All they had was ham and tomato-basil bread. No other meats or breads, no cheeses, no veggies, no condiments, absolutely nothing except ham and tomato-basil bread. So My boyfriend asks, why are you even open? And the guy says, cuz customers will come. And my boyfriend is like, yeah but whats the point of being open if you cant serve them anything??? And how low do you get on supplies before you order more stuff?!

    • Funny story, thanks for sharing. I guess if you were the only people alive who would want a ham and tomato-basil bread sandwich with zero condiments, it would have been fine. 😉 You poor things… I can totally relate.

  2. Writing Jobs

    This was a very nice post. I enjoyed reading your blog today very much.

  3. And they actually have patrons. Sweaty cheese. No way.

    • I know. The guy behind me in line looked like he was having second thoughts as well. I still can’t believe I went back three times. The only other person who would do something over and over like that despite unfavorable results would be Homer Simpson. It wasn’t my finest moment. 🙂

  4. Way to stick with your guns! If I ever run across sweaty cheese, it had better be melted on chips with plenty of jalapeños in sight!

  5. Love it! I wouldn’t want sweaty cheese either 🙂

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