Cat Tested, Cat Approved
The other night I was sitting at home, having a phone conversation with Mike while he was standing in the pet food aisle at the grocery store. After 20 minutes of bickering about different types of cat chow, I came to the realization that we’re both getting old.
This is a snippet of our conversation:
Me: “Buuut honey, even though it’s bacon and egg flavored, I don’t think Samuel will enjoy the special adult food. It’s just not as tasty as the other kind. Don’t you think?”
Mike: “I don’t think they care. It says on the bag it’s cat tested and cat approved. It’s probably good.”
Me: “They all say cat tested, cat approved. You know they don’t like the surf and turf that says it’s cat tested, cat approved.”
Mike: “Yeah, that’s true. Let’s get the 9 Lives dry food with salmon, chicken and beef flavors then. We haven’t tried it before, and they like the 9 Lives wet can food.”
Any doubts I ever had about us getting old were completely dispelled. We’re definitely getting old.
Here are 10 signs that you too are getting old:
1- You have detailed discussions with your partner about the best types of cat and dog food.
2- Instead of going out to a night club, you’d rather spend a quiet night at home watching Netflix movies and sipping a glass of wine.
3- You refer to clubs as night clubs.
4- You start nodding off around 9 or 10 pm, but you never even used to leave the house until that time.
5- You also can’t sleep in past 8 or 9 am. In fact, you’re wide awake by 6 or 7 am, and looking for a wholesome breakfast.
6- If it takes you more than 20 to 30 minutes to get somewhere, you him-and-haw about the “long” drive.
7- When you go out with a group of people, conversations regularly revert to topics such as: colicky kids, benefits of breastfeeding, investments, insurance, and the status of the nation’s economy.
8- When you actually drag yourself out to places like a hip, new Vegas club or concert with your friends or kids, you end up feeling like a grandparent lost on a grade school campus. Why does everyone else look like they’re 10 years old?
9- You have a nice kitchen, and you actually use it… for cooking real meals, not just mixing cocktails.
10- You don’t get carded as much as you used to when you buy alcohol, and you start getting called “Sir, Ma’am, Mr. and Mrs.” by younger people in the customer service and hospitality industries. This really ticks you off, and you’d like to smack them, but you don’t. That would just be wrong, because you’re a mature, law-abiding citizen.